✔  The soles of your feet have permanent lego-shaped imprints from stepping on too many pieces lying around

✔ You hear a baby wailing loudly and instinctively start patting the thin air until you realise you are outside and your baby is at home

✔ Your aunts, your neighbours, people waiting in a dentist clinic, strangers in an elevator… all have given you advice on how you are raising your baby wrong

✔ You’re in the shower and, you can’t remember if you washed your hair, so you wash it again

✔ You spent 45 minutes carefully picking out your child’s colour co-ordinated clothes and accessories, and then put on your husband’s unwashed sweatshirt that is two sizes too big with dried food stains

✔ You see dead traps everywhere. In the playground, in the bathroom, in a pile of pillows…

✔ You can now finish your bath, wash and condition hair, shave your legs and brush your teeth in a record 3 minutes. Mostly because by the 4th minute, your child will be wailing for you at the top of her lungs.

✔ You wake up in the middle of the night to cover your child thinking she is cold… but then wake up 15 minutes later again to uncover her as you’re convinced she’s now feeling hot

✔ You cringe when people send you long WhatsApp forwards but think nothing of posting a 4-minute long video of your son trying to pull a bandaid off

✔ Your fridge is covered with ‘art’ that looks like something your child threw up. But then again, even Van Gogh wasn’t appreciated in his time.

✔ Everything expensive in your house is placed on top of cupboards and the refrigerator until your child learns to climb. Then it’s in the dustbin in pieces.

✔ You high-five your husband when the baby is finally asleep. Now you can enjoy some me-time… until you pass out 10 minutes later.

✔ ‘The wheels on the bus’ song is playing non stop in your head for days

✔ When you’re with your child, you look left and right before you cross the road. Then left again. Then right. Then one more left… and then a last right…

✔ You know the names of every minor Paw Patrol cartoon character, but you still can’t remember your next door neighbour’s first name

✔ Movie? Lunch? Flight to catch? You coincide every major event in your life with your baby’s nap time

✔ You spend 30 minutes discussing the shape, colour and consistency of your baby’s poo with your husband, but forget to wish him a happy birthday

Do you have any similar motherhood-related anecdote? Share your funny mommy-defining moments in the comments section below.