“Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together” – Thomas Dekker

Sleeping is one of my favourite activity :-)! I have been an ardent believer of sleeping on time and rarely compromised my bedtime or sleep hours. In fact, before Anu was born (and as long as I can remember) my daily schedule/activities would be planned around my sleep time (my husband had a hard time digesting this fact for the longest time 🙂 ).

Once Anu was born, sleep became elusive! Since I was breastfeeding her on-demand, there was no fixed bedtime or sleep hours :-P.
(Click here to know on how to establish a bedtime routine your baby) 

When Anu turned six months old, my mother insisted on weaning off her mid-night feeds. My mom staunchly advised that once baby starts solids, no breastfeeding from 11 pm – 6 am. Which, according to her, trains the baby to sleep through the night and gives the mother the elusive 6-7 hours of sleep at a stretch. To my surprise, even Anu’s paediatrician advised to wean her off mid-night feeds post 6 months of age. His two points of reasoning were that breastmilk had successfully done its job in the first six months of baby’s life and post 6 months of age (or after solids start) baby mostly has comfort feeds at mid-night time (unless the baby is emptying the breast during those feeds). However (and to the surprise of everyone), I was insistent that till Anu turned 1 year old, I would continue to feed on demand (even if it meant waking up 1-3 times at night to feed her).

Wean off the night feeds before wear off

I noticed that after Anu was 9 months old, she mostly had comfort feed at night, 1-3 times (by then she was having 3 solid meals in the day). While this continued till Anu was 14 months old, those mid-night feeds took a toll on my health. She would dream feed, but I could not go back to sleep immediately after the feeds. Consistent broken sleep, for more than a year, affected my health and lowered my immunity. Though I was eating a balanced, nutritious diet and doing 30 mins of brisk walk daily, I would feel tired all through the day. Diet and exercise are not enough; I was missing the 3rd pillar of good health – Sleep! Not just my physical well-being, I could feel my mental faculties being affected too: I became crankier, forgetful and found it extremely difficult to focus. I realised it was high time to wean her of night feeds and catch some sleep.

Going cold turkey did not work

When I shared my plight (of lack of focus and lowered immunity due to broken sleep) with fellow moms from peer maternity groups, I realised many of them were in the same boat. Many mothers shared that they failed in the first few attempts at weaning due to baby’s incessant crying. Unable to bear the sight of their baby crying/howling for few nights in a row, some of them decided to let baby wean on own while few others thought they would try at a later time. Of course, some of the moms were able to withstand the crying and wean off the night feeds. For some lucky ones, baby weaned off on own by around 9-10 months. But many were still looking for a less noisy and less teary solution ;-). Most of them had attempted weaning by going cold turkey – no breastfeeding; some gave expressed milk or water or formula to pacify, others tried rocking/patting/sweet-talking, etc. to appease (by themselves or a family member helped to soothe) the baby. Some attempted by trying to wean off one nighttime feed at a time.

When my parents visited us a week before Anu’s first birthday, they insisted on the night weaning. They suggested their way of weaning: Anu to sleep with my parents, me in a different room. I would feed her at 11 pm after which no feed till 6 am. My parents would pacify her if she cried for feed in between (I kept a bottle of expressed milk ready if required to appease). I was not supposed to come near her till 6 am.

I reluctantly agreed to their suggested ‘cold turkey’ way of weaning (for lack of awareness of other weaning technique). On the first night of weaning, she woke up at around 3:00 am and howled to be breastfed. My parents and husband tried to pacify her with water/expressed milk, but she flatly refused it. They tried rocking, rubbing back, patting, singing, etc. but nothing could soothe her :-(. After 1.5 hours of crying out her lungs, she fell asleep. I was cringing in my bed. The same story played out on the next two nights. I could not take her crying anymore and told my parents that we would try weaning after a few weeks.

How I weaned baby of the mid-night feeds

When Anu around 13.5 months old, I had a severe bout of viral. Due to lowered immunity, my recovery was prolonged ….. 25 days long. When I finally recovered, I knew it was imperative to get quality sleep to improve my health. For that, it was high time to wean Anu of her comfort feeds at night. Around the same time, a fellow mom suggested trying ‘Jay Gordon Weaning’ technique. She vouched for it. When I read about it, I felt it was not as harsh as going cold turkey like our previous attempt. So the husband and I agreed to try this technique.

Following is the Jay Gordon weaning technique in brief. For details check here:

  • Weaning over 10 days time
  • Select 6-7 hours of night slot when you won’t feed the baby
  • Give ‘Last Feed’ of the night before the start of the chosen night slot
  • Night 1-3: Partially feed when baby demands feed in the selected night slot (pull away before baby sleeps off at the breast). Pacify baby (if required) by holding/rubbing back/patting/rocking etc. but make baby sleep without any more feed (Click here to know more).
  • Night 4-6: Do not feed when baby wakes up in the selected night slot. Pacify baby (if required) by holding/rubbing back/patting/rocking etc. but make baby sleep without any feed.
  • Night 7-10: Do not feed the baby and do not pick/hold the baby in the chosen night slot. Pacify baby (if required) by talking/rubbing back/patting etc. but make baby sleep without any feed.

We selected ’11:00 pm – 6:00 am’ slot for weaning (though on most days I ended up feeding her around 5:30 am). If required, my husband and I were going to pacify the baby. But the night we were supposed to start with the weaning, my husband was down with a sore throat. He wanted to postpone the weaning by a few days. But I just decided to wait no more and planned to tend to Anu alone, through the night, if required.

I have noted the details of each of the 10 nights, mainly which pacifying techniques worked and which did not work. After we started weaning, Anu had a runny nose and slight cough by day 3. We decided that if her crying at night aggravates her condition, we would suspend the weaning and start again when she is better. But luckily the cold & cough did not affect weaning and vice versa.

Night 1:

Last feed: 10:40 pm
1st wake-up time: 12:57 am
Partial feed: Yes ….. 3 minutes
Crying: Yes ….. 50 mins (very loud)
Pacifying techniques which failed: Patting on back/thighs, rubbing back, sweet-talking, singing, gentle rocking, strolling with the baby
Pacifying technique which worked: Walking briskly across the room with baby
The time when the baby slept back: 2:10 am

2nd wake-up time: 4:30 am
Partial feed: No ….. I misread the time as 5:30 am (close to the end of night weaning slot), so fed till baby slept off

Night 2:

Last feed: 11:10 pm
1st wake-up time: 2:20 am
Partial feed: Yes ….. 3 mins
Crying: Yes ….. 15 mins
Pacifying techniques which failed: Patting on back, rubbing back, strolling with the baby
Pacifying techniques which worked: Walking briskly across the room with baby
The time when the baby slept back: 2:40 am

2nd wake-up time: 5:30 am
Partial Feed: No ….. fed till baby slept off

Note: Gave water after 5 minutes of crying when the baby woke up the first time. The overall intensity of crying was low (no howling like day 1).

Night 3:

Last feed: 10:40 pm
1st wake-up time: 3:06 am
Partial feed: Yes ….. 4 mins
Crying: No

2nd wake-up time: 5:30 am
Partial Feed: No ….. fed till baby slept off

Note: Baby slept off on her own after the partial feed at 3:06 am. Diaper had leaked when Anu slept back around 3:11 am. But she did not wake up during the diaper change, which is unusual. Also, she had a runny nose earlier that day.  

*** No partial feed from Night 4 ***

Night 4:

Last feed: 9:45 pm
1st wake-up time: 12:55 am
Crying: Yes ….. 20 mins
Pacifying techniques which failed: NA ….. baby slept off by first pacifying trick
Pacifying techniques which failed: Patting on back and simultaneously rocking while sitting
The time when the baby slept back: 1:20 am

2nd wake-up up time: 5:30 am
Feed: Yes ….. till baby slept off

Note: Anu had a runny nose that day

Night 5:

Last feed: 9:55 pm
1st wake-up time: 2:12 am
Crying: Yes …. 1 hour 40 mins
Pacifying techniques which failed: patting & rocking simultaneously (twice she slept and woke up crying within 2-3 mins), brisk walking (slept and woke up crying within 5 minutes)
Pacifying techniques which worked: Patting and rocking simultaneously while sitting (4th attempt to put her back to sleep). Used wedge pillow to help her sleep better.
The time when the baby slept back: 4:05 am

2nd wake-up time: 5:30 am
Feed: Yes ….. till baby slept off

Note: Baby had a runny nose that day

Night 6:

Last feed: 9:55 pm
1st wake-up time: 5:46 am
Crying: No
Feed: Yes ….. till baby slept off since it was close to end of the weaning night slot

Note: Baby still had a runny nose and cough that day

*** No picking up the baby from Night 7 ***

Night 7:

Last feed: 10:55 pm
1st wake-up time: 3:25 am
Crying: No

2nd wake-up time: 5:30 am
Feed: Yes ….. till baby slept off

Note: Baby had a runny nose and cough that day. She woke up at 3:25 am but slept immediately on her own without demanding feed.

Night 8:

Last feed: 9:55 pm
1st wake-up time: 12:00 am
Crying: No

2nd wake-up time: 1:00 am
Crying: No

3rd wake-up time: 3:00 am
Crying: No

4th wake-up time: 4:30 am
Crying: No
Feed: Yes ….. till baby slept off

Note: Baby had a runny nose, cough, and mild fever that day. Thrice she woke up at night but slept immediately on her own without demanding a feed.

Night 9:

Last feed: 9:55 pm

1st wake-up time: 12:10 am
Crying: No

2nd wake-up time: 2:00 am
Crying: No

3rd wake-up time: 5:30 am
Crying: No
Feed: Yes ….. till baby slept off

Note: Baby had a runny nose, cough, and fever that day. Twice she woke up at night but slept back immediately on her own without demanding a feed.

Night 10:

Last feed: 9:55 pm
1st wake-up time: 6:00 am
Crying: No
Feed: Yes ….. till baby slept off

Note: Baby was uncomfortable through the night due to cold and cough but did not demand feed

The first night was the most difficult. When Anu woke up the first time, and I pulled away after feeding her for a few minutes, she was howling for some time. No pacifying technique seemed to work. Finally, I carried her and briskly walked which soothed her. Crying reduced drastically (in intensity and time) from the 2nd night, which gave me the confidence to continue with the weaning. There was the aberration of the 5th night when she took more than 100 minutes to go back to sleep. But even on that night, she cried intermittently, and it was very toned down. In fact, she did not even demand feed; maybe she was uncomfortable due to cold/cough. Anu stopped crying or demanding feed by 6th night. Also since the 6th night, if she woke up, she would go back to sleep immediately, on her own. By 10th night, she was able to sleep at a stretch for 6-7 hours. Yey to ‘Jay Gordon weaning’ technique!

Though we had decided on the slot of 11:00 pm – 6:00 am for night weaning, almost on all nights she woke around 5:30 am and I fed her till she slept back :-). But I was okay with that 30 minutes offset since the nursing time was close to the end of weaning slot.

Feeding & sleeping post 10 days of weaning

Anu now sleeps through the night (for 6-8 hours at a stretch) without feed. On some nights if she wakes up, she goes back to sleep on her own (no crying or demanding feed).

We observed one surprising effect of the 10 day night weaning on her morning feed. Before I weaned her following the Jay Jordon technique, she would demand her night feed between 9:30 pm – 11:00 pm (not necessarily to sleep). Then she had a dream feed between 1:00 am – 3:00 am and on many days again between 4:00 am – 5:30 am. Finally, she demanded her morning feed around 7:00 am when she woke up. But by the end of 10 days of weaning, she stopped demanding her morning feed around 7:00 am as well (when she usually wakes up).  So now she requires her night feed by 10:00 pm and her morning feed by 5:30 am. So she is weaned off her comfort feeds.

I thoroughly enjoy the feeding time with Anu, and she is still so excited to breastfeed when awake. But I am glad I weaned her off the mid-night feeds. I am finally able to catch 5-7 hours of sleep at a stretch. I feel refreshed after I wake up and much more energetic throughout the day!